Blended Families
You meet someone, and you fall in love. If one or both of you already have children, you may be excited to create a new family as things get more serious, but everyone may not share your enthusiasm. Or maybe you’ve been together for a while, but happily ever after is a little more challenging than you thought it would be. Don’t worry—you’re not alone. Stepfamilies are increasingly common, but they’re also very complex and often need support.
Despite the best of intentions, what intuitively makes sense rarely works in blended families due to conflicting needs and other complicating factors. That’s where I come in. As a therapist, I’ve always had a keen interest in stepfamilies because I’m a stepmom myself. I’m a big fan of Dr. Patricia L. Papernow’s approach to stepfamily counseling; she advocates for psychoeducation, interpersonal skills development, and inner work to support people in blended families. Using the latest research on stepfamilies, I help couples and stepparents adjust to their new normal, find their flow within the family, and create their new version of happily ever after.
Common Challenges
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Couple Concerns
When two families blend, partners often have different hopes, dreams, and expectations. For example, one may have a cherished holiday tradition they can’t live without, and the other may have ideas of their own. Most couples wait too long to talk about the things that matter to them, but therapy can help you be more proactive, so you can avoid common problems.
Art by Nick Lowry. Located in Christchurch, New Zealand.
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Stepparenting
The role of the stepparent is hard to understand unless you’ve experienced it. Even under the best of circumstances, being a stepparent can be challenging, sometimes painful, and often isolating, especially if you don’t have children of your own. There are many ways to be a healthy, happy stepparent, but it can help to have support while you find what works for you.
Artist Unknown. Located in San Francisco, California.
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Ex-Partners
When your partner is actively coparenting with an ex, it can feel like the ex is always looking over your shoulder. Alternatively, you may be coparenting with your ex and wishing your partner would be more understanding. This dynamic can be hard for everyone. Whether the relationship is cordial or not, therapy can help everyone set boundaries and adjust to the new normal.
Artist Unknown. Located in Montréal, Canada.